Melissa’s Cozy Teacup

I just read a great piece by Stephanie Finch on Why You Should Never Be a Start Up Girlfriend.

Well, being a start up wife can be quite a challenge too.

You don’t just have one absent minded geek in our life, you have many, and the finance guys, and lawyers and my personal favorite, our friend the loquacious folklorist who once came to our house and monologued for 16 hours straight. At 10:00p.m. my ears hurt, my head was swimming and I went to bed, leaving my husband to fend for himself.

Being around someone 24/7 who is driven, creative, emotional and amazing, changes you. I’m more aware of my surroundings politically. I know more about technology now than I ever did the previous 40 years of my life whether I wanted to learn or not.

I love my husbands merry band of start up guys. These are people who know people. These are people who deal in multiple zeros to the left of the decimal point. These are people who don’t sit around complaining about an issue but discuss how to make it better and in some cases, how to make it better and sell it.

In one instance, Tech Hubby and I were scouring D.C. for an appropriate dress for me to wear to the Metropolitan Club. Oh, how I wished that instead of Girl Scouts, my mom had insisted I take etiquette lessons. I did my level best to study up on what to do before we left for the trip, but in some cases, no amount of reading can make up for experience. This is why I got into etiquette. You just never know what life is going to throw at you and nothing I learned in Girl Scouts prepared me for anything I’m experiencing today. (btw, no, I did not steal the tiny silver teaspoon that came with my tea at the end of dinner but oh, I was sorely tempted!)

Being married to this man, this wonderful creative, accomplished man who loves the Lord and is not afraid to show it, makes me want to utilize my creativity more. I see him grinding out the code bit by bit, not giving up, accomplishing amazing things (he has two Academy awards in the Scientific and Engineering category). I have seen him deliver on his promises which is so refreshing to see in a person given how flaky some people can be.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all peaches and cream. Start ups rely on other people’s money, so do we. if they don’t get paid, we don’t get paid. It can be a bit unnerving but I’m learning to rely on God as it should be. He is our source. There are many nights of going to bed alone while he stays up until 3 a.m hammering out a project. Tech guys can be night owls. Keep that in mind if you’re thinking of transitioning from Girlfriend 2.0 to Wife 1.0. We usually only eat dinner together on home group night. Many days, though, we make a point to eat breakfast together and have ‘quiet time’ where we read our bibles, discuss what we’ve read and catch up on what each other is doing and how things are going. There is usually a good deal of laughter and good natured teasing.

There is also the times where he is physically in the room, but his mind is coding. It’s like having a ‘Husband on a Tether’. He’s there, floating way above it all. Would you like to talk to him? I’ll give the line a tug and see if he can come down.

Did you see the movie, ‘The Jane Austen Book Club’? Remember the guy who kept comparing Jane’s books to Star Wars movies, yep, Tech Hubby. Most things in life get compared to technology, code, explosions, liquid oxygen (especially cool for bbq experiments, watched on YouTube) The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Universe (enthusiastically quoted), Monty Python (enthusiastically quoted). He cannot remember a single word of music even if he has just sung the song, but he can sit down, read a coding book in a week and get started on the project as soon as he’s finished reading how to do it. Many of his books are 4-5 inches think, minimum. Yeah, he’s good.

I love my Tech Hubby. He is exactly the man for me and I’m so glad he is in my life. it’s a good thing though, that I can entertain myself and have interests and hobbies that I can do without him. If you’re needy, don’t marry a start up guy, go find a 8-5 guy who is home on the weekends. It takes a different kind of woman to love such a different kind of man. A woman who is independent, understanding, patient, patient, patient, forgiving, creative and patient.